Monday, May 14, 2012

and then it was a year ...

[2011/05/15 01:24] Shippy: do you dance couples or will it crash you?
[2011/05/15 01:24] chry: I do if I'm not running the event lol ... but when I am working it's just distracting
[2011/05/15 01:25] Shippy: no worries.. .:)
[2011/05/15 01:25] Shippy: plenty of other ladies...
[2011/05/15 01:25] Shippy: ;)
[2011/05/15 01:25] chry: indeed, though I will take a raincheck?
[2011/05/15 01:25] Shippy: OH please :)
[2011/05/15 01:25] Shippyt: haha...
[2011/05/15 01:26] Shippy: -hands Cherry the largest rain check ever-

... and that, as far as I am concerned, is how it started.

I want to tell you about my best friend. We met in Second Life, on his second day. The attraction was instant, and it was obvious. The exchange, above, happened two weeks later, by then I was already looking for him to log on, and feeling that awesome little rush you get when you've met someone you really dig who digs you too.

I say he is my best friend because we spend every day (his night) together, we go everywhere (on the web) together and we share everything in our lives with each other. Okay, maybe not everything. But the only things we don't tell each other about are the ones it is decent and respectful for us to keep private.

My best friend is married, in his real life, to a woman he loves very much. She doesn't want a Second Life, and she doesn't especially approve of his. She does not approve of me, and I understand that, and am careful not to demand anything that might be hers by right. That suits me, by the way. I am a single mother, and I have no intention of foisting some guy on my son. I tried that once, and it didn't go well. I don't get out much, and I don't want to. My son and I have a loving, engaged life just as it is, and I plan not to make any changes to that. In that respect, in fact in most respects, having a close relationship with someone online, that we act out via Second Life, is ideal for me.

Not everyone who comes to Second Life has come to find themselves a real life. Nor, especially, to damage the real life they have.

Now ... I hear what you're thinking. Something along the lines of "it's all good fun til someone loses an eye". I can only tell you that we are careful with eyes around here. We do not lie, we do not steal, and we try to make sure that everyone has what they need to be content.We're careful to respect and love the people around us. That's an active choice, in any relationship, by the way. It's the most important choice.

Of course, I don't need to tell you all this. It's no-one's business but that of the people who are living it. But I am aware that people wonder - neither of us think of or act like our outside comittments are a secret. So now you know: this is how we sleep at night. 

Onto the fun bit. Our friendship is based on a mutual love of words, music, entertainment, games, silly puns, flirting and being as good as you can be at whatever you choose to do. We play other games together, we talk about politics, the cosmos, atheism, sex, our past, our dreams, our hobbies, our friends. We dance. We build. We compare notes about the things we see, about life, every day, and every day we find we agree.

He lets me feel safe by letting me be completely open ... and by protecting me while I am open. He listens to me, and acts like my friend. He supports me when I am right and he tells me when I am wrong. He makes the things I care about seem like they're valuable and important by being interested in them, and responsive to them. He encourages me to be a better person by being a better person. My dreams and visions fit into his hands, and his dreams and visions set mine alight.

I have never known this in a man before, and it is heady, it's fun, and it gets better every day. 

Shippy ... ringrazio il mio amore. I hope that's right :-) You are the lightning that sets me to flame, and I am having the very best time of my life.