I am a creature of impulse, it's unfortunate, but true.
Recently, I have made bad decisions, and they have been decisions which have hurt other people. I let expert flattery go to my head and cause me to be less mindful than I prefer to be. I fell into the shallow pool. See ... my Second Life has been very protected. I am treated with love and respect by both my friends and my fans. Yes, I've heard the stories, who hasn't? But I guess I thought I was so adorable the usual rules did not apply.
But Second Life moves fast, and my karma caught up with me quickly. In other crowds, love and respect are not the usual currency. And flattery is easy. You could say I found the shallow pool filled with sharks (god knows, I have, many times). And (cue violins) now I get to play out that same old story ("all men in SL are sluts or vagrants" etc etc).
I believe karma works like this: If you're a lousy human, as time goes on, you'll find yourself surrounded only by lousy humans, and everything you have done will be done to you, because that's what lousy humans do. I try not to be a lousy human.
I'm out of the pool, and I'll live. I regret being so impulsive and absolutely being so shallow. But there's been a lot of regret so far this year, n'est pas? I promise to do better. Especially by those of you who have always done well by me. And I promise to make happy posts, and maybe more of them. Ehhh ... I promise to try.
chry xx
(cozy)
ReplyDeleteyou have many good friends, Chry, who care for you. you know that, right?
*hugs* I wish you great happiness, Chry, and yes, inner peace and contentment. And the friendship of loyal, loving friends. These things are priceless.
ReplyDeleteEveryone makes mistakes and feels stupid after. Don't hold on to regrets, because you can't change the past and regrets are futile; move forward into a future full of promise and possibilities and live life to the fullest. What's over is over. I don't believe anybody holds it against you.
-Quaintly
GODDAMMIT CHRY!(note to self: find slapping animation). Do you think being impulsive is a bad thing? Really? And you think you're a bad person? Are you serious?
ReplyDeleteAnd - this is the big one - are you willing to let some loser guy change you? Let the voice of experience tell you that no man is worth going to your grave for (ok, that was Shirley Bassey, but still). Think back dear, why were you trying to change yourself into a suburban housewife for "Tyler" in the first place?
Being impulsive or open or trusting...these are all unique and precious things. Sadly these traits can all be manipulated and changed into something ugly or painful - but that is on the manipulator, not you. And you know what? Everyone has baggage. Everyone. It doesn't make you a bad person. it makes you human. Much more so than any manipulator.
I don't know what karma you think you have coming for you, but I would say get your head out of your ass this time. Look in the mirror again. Everyone thinks you're great, you should start believing them.
FYI - I believe in tough love.