chupathingy

So even though I am well aware that I owe you guys a post about what it feels like when your act goes completely arse-up ... tonight is not that night. We will do it, I promise, just to get closure on the torturous bloody thing. But something else happened tonight that sparked a rich vein of thought.

A little story about young chryblnd, or her human driver ...

I don't dwell on my childhood much. I have very few reliable memories, It wasn't my best period. I was bright and a bloody showoff. My mother taught me to read and has often said I could read the newspaper when I was three. At the age of eight, my family moved to the town I spent the next twenty years in, and it was something of a crisis for me. It was a small town where intellect isn't really valued, and intellect in females is plainly distrusted. 

I was put in a composite class and the teacher sometimes asked me to read to the kindergarten children. In addition I had ... whatever personality I still have. It's not everyone's cuppa tea.

And then there was the thing where they were all so advanced, sexually precocious. I didn't get it, and I didn't want to get it, even though everyone I was trying to impress clearly did get it and thought this smart feisty nerdy girl needed taking down a peg. Or several pegs.

It's ok, this doesn't turn into a Gawker essay. Well it does, but that's not the story I am going to tell you.

Enough to say that due to these things, and some other things, I left primary school with a pretty thorough understanding that it's better to "be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt". Or, more truly, I hid everything "different", as much as I could, which wasn't much, because, let's face it, I am a bloody big poser, and you know that because I chose to use my Second Life as a performance arena. Hundreds of thousands of people just stand around in SL talking to friends. There are 662457 items of women's apparel on the marketplace - someone's spending their time making those. But I work in entertainment, in jobs that have me almost constantly being watched by someone.

I like to hide in plain sight, you could say. I've written before about travelling light, about how it's caused by staying busy, but I want to point out, it's partly that, up there, too. Real life taught me that you could get by, if you were cool. And cool people don't show anything. Ever.

nerdygirl reaches for the top shelf

Tonight I heard that someone I'd had a business association with is telling people that the people in my dance troupe are men pretending to be women. It's not true, as the many people who come to interact with us every week can attest. There may be some crossing, we've never cared about that, but there's no hiding, well none that I know of, though I might not, it's true. In the end it doesn't matter, but actually, in the beginning it doesn't matter, and I will tell you why.

The person who said this to one of my team is someone I had a brief interaction with. He was terribly unpleasant to work with, so we did our job and came back to Idle Rogue. I haven't thought of him since ... but it's apparent he's thought of me. He cites, as his source, someone from another dance troupe I once worked for. That's interesting, because it means he probably sought that opinion, and certainly liked and wanted to use it. No-one else in my current team worked there, and he has no reason to know I worked there, it was long prior to my meeting with him. So this is about me.

This scandal-mongering is aimed at me by someone who's not important to me. I am so surprised by it!

When I don't want to deal with you any more, you won't have a terrible drama to contend with. There won't be explosive incidents to titillate the grid. I will simply walk away from you, and never think of you again.

Cool people don't show anything. Ever.

When you come after me, like that, you baffle me. Not with what you say. But with the way you want to do it, and the mystery of why you want to do it at all.

[2013/03/15 05:52]  chryblnd Scribe: ya know ... I was thinking about that too
[2013/03/15 05:53]  chryblnd Scribe: after (an altercation in which I lost some friends) ... I withdrew so much. I had to/ have to. I cannot go through that again, so I made a nice little ditch between me and everyone but the ppl I trust on a really deep level
[2013/03/15 05:53]  chryblnd Scribe: but all it does is make me ... more mythological?
[2013/03/15 05:53]  chryblnd Scribe: I am the chupacabra of SL lol

style notes:

Skin: *League* Skin Sunkiss Blonde -Amber- Grape

Tattoo: *ES* Paisely Love - Tattoo

Hair: [e] Only - Carrot Reds

Top: [Cynful] PlushTop - deepsea

Skirt: HOC Industries - Pleated Skirt

Socks: *League* Gartered Socks -Black

Boots: [Gos] GTFO Boots in Black [bagged]

Nails: +ROZOREGALIA+*Gemma*Ring&Nail/2(F) BOX

Ear-Rings: *DECO - Triple Skull Earrings*
Pose: Shippy