it's out!

My photoshoot with Graham Collinson was released last night. I am a little nervous :-D There's a bit ... well ... more ... of me than I usually show. I have issues with the rampaging sexuality of Second Life. As Esoteric Trinity notes, in his fabulous bio, I am not a big fan of the so-called "raunch culture'. I am all for women taking ownership of their sexuality, that's what virtual burlesque has been for me, and what I hope it is for my sisters in dance. But it's fair to say I chose burlesque as a way to explore these notions because nudity is not required. So what, exactly, am I doing with my boobs out?

In the first place, the Guerilla Burlesque Exclusive group was created to give fans of the show a greater depth of interaction with the stars - and I do call them stars. Every dancer has her own motivation, she designs and creates her act according to the things she finds beautiful and moving; she offers you a little piece of her soul, her own soul, or the bits she is willing for you to see. These girls work hard, and think hard, and give hard, and when the audience watches them, they have certain expectations of each dancer as an individual. We know Diawa will give us brilliant choreography. We know Chewie dances from her heart. We know SexyS will bring us something quirky, we know Sho will add little pieces of wit to her set. The dancers of Guerilla Burlesque are personalities, and the Guerilla Burlesque Exclusive group was set up to thank the fans for their support of that ideal.

Despite the name, Guerilla Burlesque does not present a strip show. That was an active choice as we left the confines of the Virtual Burlesque group. We really just wanted to dance, and I personally wanted to produce a "show" - something that was designed with an audience in mind, as first priority. Nudity is, for Guerilla Burlesque, just one of the ways you might add the spark to your act. As we get better at building and meet better scriptors (because so far we kinda suck at scripting ourselves), the wow factor is as often a clever script, or an amazing particle, as it is a great rack.

But that's not to dis a great rack, either. I am proud of my avatar. I love the way she looks, she is the me I would be if I could choose the parts: her hair is the same colour as mine, her famous eyes are an enhanced version of mine. I took off my glasses and shaved off a hundred pounds, most of which I injected into my bottom lip, but otherwise she is me. Okay, maybe not lol ... but I built her, and I stay true to her. Her skin will always be League, her hair will always be strawberry blonde, and she will always wear the lip piercing that was her first gift from her first lover. As for her rack - did you know I actually reduced her breast size from the original freebie shape I still wear? I did it because I wanted her to look good dressed ... and then I made her famous for undressing :-)

You can get the photos by joining the Guerilla Burlesque Exclusive group. It costs 1000L to join, and I am worth every one of 'em. My heartfelt thanks to Graham Collinson for making the photoshoot such a gentle and natural process, and to Esoteric Trinity who did the same as he drew words from my mouth and transformed them into a wonderful tribute ♥

Dear Floor

As it's becoming obvious, from your behaviour, that you follow this blog very closely, there are a few things you probably should know:

1. Telling my good friends that I am a "sl rl stlaker, and could possibly put your privacy at risk" (sic) is a dumb idea. They already know me, and they know what you're suggesting is preposterous.

2. The article you're referring to drew information from your blog and myspace page, which you insisted, demanded, nagged and threatened me to visit. That's not stalking, you silly moo-cow, that's you begging for attention.

3. All that happened a year ago. Build a bridge, as they say in the classics. Nobody cares but you, and you care a little more than is healthy.

and then it was a year ...

[2011/05/15 01:24] Shippy: do you dance couples or will it crash you?
[2011/05/15 01:24] chry: I do if I'm not running the event lol ... but when I am working it's just distracting
[2011/05/15 01:25] Shippy: no worries.. .:)
[2011/05/15 01:25] Shippy: plenty of other ladies...
[2011/05/15 01:25] Shippy: ;)
[2011/05/15 01:25] chry: indeed, though I will take a raincheck?
[2011/05/15 01:25] Shippy: OH please :)
[2011/05/15 01:25] Shippyt: haha...
[2011/05/15 01:26] Shippy: -hands Cherry the largest rain check ever-

... and that, as far as I am concerned, is how it started.

I want to tell you about my best friend. We met in Second Life, on his second day. The attraction was instant, and it was obvious. The exchange, above, happened two weeks later, by then I was already looking for him to log on, and feeling that awesome little rush you get when you've met someone you really dig who digs you too.

I say he is my best friend because we spend every day (his night) together, we go everywhere (on the web) together and we share everything in our lives with each other. Okay, maybe not everything. But the only things we don't tell each other about are the ones it is decent and respectful for us to keep private.

My best friend is married, in his real life, to a woman he loves very much. She doesn't want a Second Life, and she doesn't especially approve of his. She does not approve of me, and I understand that, and am careful not to demand anything that might be hers by right. That suits me, by the way. I am a single mother, and I have no intention of foisting some guy on my son. I tried that once, and it didn't go well. I don't get out much, and I don't want to. My son and I have a loving, engaged life just as it is, and I plan not to make any changes to that. In that respect, in fact in most respects, having a close relationship with someone online, that we act out via Second Life, is ideal for me.

Not everyone who comes to Second Life has come to find themselves a real life. Nor, especially, to damage the real life they have.

Now ... I hear what you're thinking. Something along the lines of "it's all good fun til someone loses an eye". I can only tell you that we are careful with eyes around here. We do not lie, we do not steal, and we try to make sure that everyone has what they need to be content.We're careful to respect and love the people around us. That's an active choice, in any relationship, by the way. It's the most important choice.

Of course, I don't need to tell you all this. It's no-one's business but that of the people who are living it. But I am aware that people wonder - neither of us think of or act like our outside comittments are a secret. So now you know: this is how we sleep at night. 

Onto the fun bit. Our friendship is based on a mutual love of words, music, entertainment, games, silly puns, flirting and being as good as you can be at whatever you choose to do. We play other games together, we talk about politics, the cosmos, atheism, sex, our past, our dreams, our hobbies, our friends. We dance. We build. We compare notes about the things we see, about life, every day, and every day we find we agree.

He lets me feel safe by letting me be completely open ... and by protecting me while I am open. He listens to me, and acts like my friend. He supports me when I am right and he tells me when I am wrong. He makes the things I care about seem like they're valuable and important by being interested in them, and responsive to them. He encourages me to be a better person by being a better person. My dreams and visions fit into his hands, and his dreams and visions set mine alight.

I have never known this in a man before, and it is heady, it's fun, and it gets better every day. 

Shippy ... ringrazio il mio amore. I hope that's right :-) You are the lightning that sets me to flame, and I am having the very best time of my life. 

200 Days

He came into my Second Life 210 days ago and insisted that I notice him. Within a week he had changed everything.

And I understand ... you don't need to read this. Other people's mushy stuff doesn't interest me, and like you, I'd prefer they kept it to themselves.

I just want to take a moment and thank him. For the way he understands what I am doing, even before I do. For the way he never lets me get carried away with a fallacy. For not letting me withdraw, despite the many times I tried. For noticing what I look like, and for caring what he looks like. For understanding my friends and reminding me why I love them. For always, always supporting me, in my plans, in my actions, in my frustrations. For giving me ideas, for taking my ideas and giving them wings. For dancing with me, in the snow, and for loving "Whisper Of A Thrill" so much he makes me love it too. For always being strong, and male, and proud, without ever being obnoxious, or controlling, or deceptive.

For making the effort to make every one of 200 days sparkle, without ever making it look like an effort.

Je vous adore à la lune et retour

Tristesse

Sadness came to visit me this week.

It's true I am somewhat sentimental. I don't get much time to form attachments, but when I do, I consider them formed for life. Even when the nature of the attachment changes, I like to think I remain the same, or that my level of care and attachment remains true. I hold talismans, and small equations in my mind, and these things are my keepsakes.

Talisman: For three years I have worn a lip piercing that was crafted for me by my first SL companion. I never take it off, unless another item uses the same attachment point, and then, reluctantly.

I have told the story of this companion in these pages before. How I didn't expect such a connection, and then didn't believe in it; how he disappeared suddenly and how I grieved when he left. Eventually he reappeared, and continued to do so, sporadically. Equation: He was the First Idle Rogue, the Rogue for whom the group was named, and throughout the three years of Idle Rogue's existence, he remained a member of the group.

I have looked at that relationship in many lights; not all of them rosy. I have wondered what his purpose with me was, and what made him disappear. Over time it has become a wistful thing, but nothing greatly hurtful. I was happy to think we were still friends, after a fashion, and that he had as much left Second Life as left me. I came to think that, since I could never have left either, it was just one of those unevenly-balanced attractions.

On the weekend he revealed a new avatar to me, and told me a story I frankly don't believe about what was happening to with his former account.It matters not. He is no longer an Idle Rogue. He has returned to Second Life, and he does not intend that we will be friends, this round.

And I am fine with it. Just a little sad. The equation has changed, the talisman is pointless. And though I had "moved on" (more than once, in fact :-D), it saddended me to know that this foundation had shifted.

 

But the week was not done with me yet. My former partner also issued a note to explain he no longer felt engaged by Second Life. Life has become busy for him, and logging on was less and less a priority. He didn't see himself as leaving forever ... but certainly around less.

At this point, it would be disingenous of me not to mention that I am fairly intensely involved with someone new. That, also, has been mentioned in recent posts. I am content. My new companion is eminently suitable for what I do in and want from Second Life. I am no churl. I do not want my past back.

In our luxurious twenty-first century lives, we have the "advantage"of being able to contemplate change. Our Second Lives are almost certainly "inessential". Changes within them can be studied and experienced without the pressing urgency of "survival", which is what change used to mean to humans, and not so long ago. Of course, that's actually a double-edged sword. When you're adapting and surviving, you don't have time for grieving and resisting.

I feel such a great melancholy that these changes have swept through. Small tears have appeared in the fabric that is my SL story. It feels less strong. It feels like there is less love supporting me. This is not true, or is more complicatedly untrue than that sounds. But I am sad nonetheless.

Charitable thoughts ...

It's a rainy school holiday monday for me, and I am procrastinating about my housework by going over my options. It occurs to me that my SLife is quite a charmed existence. People come to me with terrific ideas, and I get to toss them around and try to make something of them. It's not constant, but it's steady (and thank god, because I have a little trouble with saying 'no'"). As one project draws to a close, there is usually another forming up.

We just finished a fundraiser. I'm not big on fundraisers, they make me a little resentful. Part of travelling light is turning one's head away from things that cause distress. If I start to consider lending my support to one cause, I have to think about all of them, and then it seems there is not one cause that deserves support more than another. I believe I am like most people this way. I can't support them all, so I stick to donating to the ones that capture my fancy on an ad hoc basis.

As I write this, I am aware of how shallow it sounds ... but I still believe most people feel the same way. There's a reason musicians are constantly getting hit to perform for a fundraiser. It's no joke, the musicians I have worked with are hit on daily to give time to this or that cause, and often very aggressively. I understand why - fundraisers need to find that element that makes their event the one that captures the public's fancy. And I totally understand why the performers feel beseiged - which do you say "no" to, how do you gauge worth when it comes to misfortune?

When it came to me being asked to lend my support to a cause, I said yes, of course - I always say yes. So then my task becomes "how do I make my event the one that captures the public's fancy?" I am pleased to say, the choices we went with were successful. We did not raise a lot of money, but I wasn't really expecting we would. We did put on a great event that brought first and second life together in a way that was mutually satisfying, and by doing that, we raised awareness. I have many thoughts on what we could have done differently, but also on what worked really well.

surveying options

Ultimately, I feel honoured to have been asked to be part of it, and proud of what we were able to do. I imagine that is the feeling serial fundraisers get, and, at least for some, the thing that keeps them motivated to do it over and over again. Me? I'm still not big on fundraisers ... and I'll still be supporting the ones that somehow capture my fancy.

Accolades

The following transcript is a speech made by Jewellah Magic at the opening of the new Guerilla Burlesque theatre on September 9th, 2011. It was a little surprise :-D


I have been nominated by the Guerillas to present an award tonight.

Chryblnd Scribe, please join me on stage.

We, your peers are presenting you with this Oustanding Contribution award for your continued contribution to the Burlesque artform in Second Life.

Chryblnd Scribe's contribution to Burlesque venues, troupe creation, special events, promotion and training has left it's mark on SecondLife. Dancers want to be working with Chry, because she raises everyone to another level. She makes any team greater than the sum of their parts. Chry shows us every day, how anything is possible.

Chry is very much a master of her artform. Brought to life each and every week, she immerses us in her curious mind, the one that's perfected the allure of not only her million Linden avi, but that of the stage. She brings out the inner desire in us all to want to be on it, to draw out the heartfelt emotions of an audience, and to tell our story, OUR way. The acts we create are a part of what we've done, seen, felt and sometimes mourned and yeah, yearned for. Acts that are very close to our own emotional journey through this life and the one out there. 

Chry is supportive loving and caring to all of those around her. Chry is the first person you want to hear your idea, and the first person you want to show it off to once you've sculpted, textured, xstreeted, toiled, perfected and listened to the same song 1000 times over. Even if you never display it for all the grid to see, it doesn't matter, because it's her opinion that matters, and when you've created an act worthy of her affection, you know. It's why we're here. It's why we do it. It's also, why you watch. 

Chry, with your mind, your talents, your creativity, and your drive to please others, you push the ones you love to new heights.  The life you breathe into others is the reason Guerilla Burlesque remains innovative and the best growing show in Second Life.

The Guerillas thank you for your contribution in bringing together a group of talented and dedicated dancers and providing the perfect venue for us to perform in. Some of us would never have become dancers without you, and it has become our passion. 

Chryblnd Scribe, your prodigious, ambitious achievements across creative media, breaking technology, and tight friendships make for the most alluring dance of all. 

x Chry, you are loved.

Fuzonacid filmed and created the video on the same night. It is the kind of spare and elegant thing that makes me so proud of what we do, and so honoured to be part of the Second Life community. There is much I ought to say, about the troupe, the new theatre, and the sweetness of life in general, but for this post, I simply want to enjoy the admiration of the people I like most in the world.